From 'I Do' to 'Two Blue'
by FrustrertSommerfugl
Summary: Rory and Logan are happily married, and has been for the last 6 years. However, something seems to be missing. But what? And what happens when that something fails to happen? Rogan
1. Prologue

Disclaimer: I own nothing but an autograph Matt Czuchry personally gave me yesterday :D

A\N: New story from me. I got this idea the other day when visiting my aunt, and haven't been able to get rid of it since.I don't like the look of my timetable in the future, but will do my best to get this story updated on a regular basis.

Summary: Rory and Logan are happily married, and has been for the last 6 years. However, something seems to be missing. But what? And what happens when that something fails to happen?

* * *

**From 'I Do' to 'Two Blue'**

"_We spend all our lives waiting, but what for? From the moment we are born, we keep waiting…_

_And then we die"_

* * *

Sighing, Rory looked at the time. She had been sitting there waiting for what felt like forever. It had been forever. Well, at least…Rory looked at the time again… two minutes.

OK, so maybe it had just been two minutes, but heaven knows those two minutes had been two very long ones. How could she possibly survive the next eight?

She closed her eyes, hoping that in some miraculous way, that would cause the time to go by a little quicker.

Oh for god's sake, who was she trying to kid? Here she was, the great Lorelai Leigh Huntzberger nee Gilmore, actually believing that if she only closed her eyes, time would go by quicker?

Oh yes, an Ivy league college education would definitely teach you that.

* * *

Three minutes now. Only seven to go. Ah… This was pure torture. Torture in disguise.

Reaching for the phone, she contemplated if she should call anyone.

Logan? No, she knew herself far too well than to call him. If she did, he would ask her what she was doing, and she couldn't exactly say that she was sitting in the bathroom, waiting for seven pathetic minutes to go by?

No, she couldn't do that. He would be home any minute anyway. At least he should be.

Her mother? Again, same problem.

Stephanie? God no. She loved her friend, she really did. But she just couldn't take any more of it. Not now. Not when they found themselves in such different situations.

Stephanie had for quite some years of her life been one of her closest friends, if not her best friend. However, and no matter how much she hated it, lately they had been falling out. Rory knew that she had to take some of the blame for that, but it wasn't as if she did it because she wanted to. Hell no. In the beginning it had been fine, but then…then it just got harder and harder before she just couldn't take it anymore. Yes, she was being selfish, she knew that. But how much pain should you have to put yourself through day in and day out?

* * *

Four minutes. Almost halfway there now.

She grabbed her notes from the counter and started skimming the first draft of her article. Words were scattered all over the pages with arrows pointing in every direction. She really ought to get started on this, the deadline was just two days away and all she had was arrows and sentences consisting of four words at a maximum.

Who was she trying to kid? She couldn't concentrate on the conflict between Israel and Palestine right now. She had more important issues on her mind.

Ok, so maybe when you looked at the big picture being the world situation, the conflict in the mid-east was pretty important. After all, this was what her job was all about. Reporting to the narrow minded citizens of the country she called home about the situation in the Middle East. She liked her job, though. Actually, she loved in a weird kind of way. It was such a sad but rewarding job, again in a weird kind of way. An 'experience-it-yourself-and-you'll-know-what-I-mean' kind of way.

That being said, she did enjoy her weeks off. Of course she did.

* * *

Five minutes. Finally! Only five minutes left. Another eternity, yet she felt like doing the happy dance. She had survived the first five minutes. Not bad. Not bad at all.

Looking up, she realised once again how much she hated the colour of the ceiling. Well, it was not so much the colour, more the pattern. Or more the structure. She had hated it immediately after spotting it. She had mentioned it to Logan on several occasions. At least on a monthly basis these last four years they'd spent calling this house home.He had looked somewhat surprised at her the first time she mentioned it. But then again, could she blame him? As she thought about it some more, she accepted it was a pretty silly thing to be annoyed by. Here hundreds of children starved to death every day, and she was annoyed by the swirls of her bathroom ceiling.

She had been right earlier. She really was pathetic.

But it was these things she focused on. She didn't allow her mind to wander off like she usually would, because deep down she knew oh too well how the outcome would be, and she would just end up with a big cloud of disappointment and sadness hanging over her. We learn from our mistakes, right?

* * *

Six minutes. Four minutes left. 240 seconds left. That wasn't much. Seconds flew by much quicker than minutes. At least it seemed so.

She looked up again, but decided she couldn't look at the ceiling any more. She just got annoyed, and she hated to be cross.

Instead, she moved herself towards the window. It was quite calming, actually, just to sit and watch the world spin. It was fascinating to see how people rushed from A to B, not taking the time to take a look around and take in their surroundings. She usually did that herself, hurrying from place to place.

Now, however, that she was sitting in the window staring aimlessly out in the autumn afternoon, she couldn't help but noticing all the colours out there. Yellow, red, brown and orange leaves fell softly to the ground as young children ran excitedly back and forth in the leaves.

Oh to be a child again. Just being careless and run around, not having to worry about anything but how to talk your parents into telling two bedtime stories instead of one, or allowing you five extra minutes to play with the bubbles in the bathtub during bedtime bath.

* * *

Seven minutes. Seven. It was actually a rather interesting number. Why was this the only number that had more than one syllable? Sure, zero had two syllables as well, but since when did people actually use zero?

It was always nought, nil, zilch, null or simply o. Never zero.

What was so special with the number seven?

And wasn't it ironic, that when you removed the 's' you got 'even'? She had never been a maths genius, but even she knew that when you divided seven by any number, you didn't end up with an even number. So why hide the word in it?

Ah, she really knew how to make herself crazy.

* * *

Eight minutes. Two minutes left. 120 seconds. 1200 milliseconds. Many nanoseconds. Very many nanoseconds. The more she thought about it, two minutes didn't sound so much. After all, it was just two. A pretty small number. Two. The same number of people that lived in this house. The same number of people in their family. The same number of empty bedrooms in their house. Well, as long as you didn't count Finn's room. But since when did anything that involved Finn count?

Finn. They hadn't seen him for some time now. It was five months since he had announced that he would sail around the world looking for the perfect redhead. Apparently she didn't exist in this fine country they called home.

He came up with that decision all by himself after living for three months with Redmona, just to suddenly discover one day that his beloved redhead wasn't much of a Redmona, but more of a Redmond. He tried to convince Logan to take care of the cat for him, but for some reason unbeknownst Rory, he had refused.

She had tried to comfort a heartbroken Finn. Tried to tell him in her softest cotton wool voice, that although she would love to take the cat in, unfortunately Logan was very allergic to furry creatures such as Redmond.

Finn had optimistically suggested that Redmond was a better catch than Logan. You only needed to scratch him behind the ear in order for him to purr and he was an excellent bed warmer at night. And even better- fully pottytrained! For some mystic reason, she hadn't bought it.

She was quite content with her non purring husband.

* * *

Nine minutes. Almost there now.

Just one short little minute left. And that was a good thing. Her caffeine level was definitely starting to empty, and it wouldn't take long before the caffeine-meter would start beeping and flashing like a mad traffic light telling pedestrians to get their butts moving.

No, she should definitely get some coffee in herself. And some food. Checking her watch once again and doing some quick maths, she realised that she hadn't had anything edible since breakfast, and god knows that was a long time ago. She could probably convince Logan to get take-away again.

It wasn't like they had take-away every day or even every other day. Or was it? She started to think back before shaking her head. Ok, so they had take-away every two days.

And so? It wasn't her fault that her mother had refused Luke to teach her how to cook. And at the fine age of 28, she was pretty capable of filling the blasted dishwasher at night, and force Logan to empty it the morning after. And they did have an excellent recycling system.

So no, there was absolutely no need for a cook. No way.

And a maid? Well, if her house was too big for her to clean and tidy while obeying the Gilmore rules (housework shouldn't be performed unless absolutely necessary), well, then they would simply have to move to a smaller house.

Only snobbish, stuck-up people had maids! And she was neither stuck-up nor snobbish, so why should they have a maid?

* * *

Pling.

She was so engulfed in her own thoughts about house workers, that she almost missed the sound of the timer. But only almost.

As soon as she heard the high pitched, loud pling, she jumped on her feet.

Walking carefully over to the sink, she heard the front door open, just to be closed again a few seconds later.

She heard the sound of Logan's briefcase hit the floor, and she could hear his shiny black office shoes walk him into the kitchen before she heard his footsteps coming closer to the bathroom door.

She could hear him standing just outside the door, not wanting to disturb her, but at the same time making sure that she was ok.

"Sweetheart, do you want me to make you a cup of coffee?"

She melted as she heard the tone in his voice. It was filled with sincere concern and sprinkled with love. A love he only had for her. She knew he knew what was going on. He had always been able to read her, even when a thick oak door separated them.

"You're a lifesaver, Logan. I'll be right out with you. Just give me two seconds."

She heard the sound of his footsteps fade out and slowly sat back down at the toilet.

* * *

Closing her eyes, she loosened the grip on the little white pin she was clutching like a lifeline.

If it had only been a lifeline.

She had told herself over and over again not to get her hopes up. This was partly the reason she hadn't told Logan about it. It wasn't like he didn't know, they had been trying for quite some while now. No,it wasn't that.

But if she told him how she was planning on spending ten minutes of this Monday evening, she would only end up having a very hard time keeping herself from disappointment. She knew that if she told him, she would have to deal with an unconscious sadness in his eyes.

And she couldn't take that. Couldn't face that. Not today. Not after last months disappointment.

She should have been used to it by now.

The endless wave of disappointments.

This was the reason she had just spent ten minutes in the bathroom thinking about Finn's stupid cat and the annoying swirls in the ceiling.

God, she was pathetic.

Why did she keep on doing this to herself? Why did she have to keep torturing herself only to get what she already knew thrown at her face again? Did she really have to drag herself through the dirt every month like this?

She had been doing this for months now. 48 months to be exact. Four years. Four long years. Four long years without any results. Why?

Brushing away the lone tear that had built itself up in the corner of her eye, she got up and straightened her skirt.

As she approached the door, she glanced quickly in the mirror. Just as she had expected. She looked empty. She felt empty. She was empty.

Oh well, there was always next month…

* * *

So, this was the prologue.

Please read and review, it would make me very happy :D

Take care and have a lovely day!


	2. Narrow but Oh so Nice

Disclaimer: Don't own much. I got a grant from my government to study abroad, and sadly it is all gone now. Depressing, I know.

A/N: Firstly, I would like to thank you all for the overwhelming response to the prologue.

One person said it was weird, I'll take that as a compliment. As for meeting Matt Czuchry, he came to my hometown ( Bergen) to do this charity basket ball thing, and I live just around the corner from the hotel they stayed in. YAY!

Og nei, dansk og norsk er ikke så forskjellig, så det gikk helt fint!

Secondly, I would like to apologise for taking so long to get this up. My life has been a living hell the last few weeks (well, make that months). I've among other things moved house for the fourth time in 5 months, which obviously took the air out the balloon big time. Apart from moving and exams, I've been working 120 for the last couple of months as a community nurse, and the big cherry on the top must be school starting again.

And last but not least, sorry for any English nonsense found.

Oh, and flashback is in italics.

**From 'I do' to 'Two Blue'**

**Chapter 1**

**Narrow but oh so nice**

If there was one thing Rory knew for certain, then it was the fact that she hated airplanes. Oh god how she hated airplanes. Sure, she was happy and grateful for the fact that she was, and rather pain free at that one, moved from one location to another. But she couldn't stand to sit still for such long hours.

And if there was ever a solid distance in life, it was the one going home after work. How she envied her mother and her walking distance to and fro work.

The cold September breeze played with her hair as she left the arrivals to find a taxi home. Normally Logan would pick her up, smirk and flowers intact, planned or unplanned. But not this time. She had taken an early flight coming from the Mid-East and if her diary was up to date, he would be in New York pleasing his father. Oh, what we do for our parents.

She hadn't been home for four weeks now, and to say that she was looking forward to come home would be an understatement. Yes, she was really looking forward to coming home. Home.

Three weeks home with her husband. Three whole weeks.

As she approached the front door, she reached for her purse in order to start the usual battle with whatnot her purse contained, just so she could find her keys. And as if her purse didn't hold enough junk already, serving as her carry-on item didn't exactly help the amount of its contents.

Just as she fished out the third piece of strawberry chewing gum, frowning at the memory of its taste, she felt a warm breath on her neck. The smell of him; a good blend of newsroom and cologne, filled the corridors. Inhaling, she closed her eyes with a big smile evident on her face. His arms quickly found their way around her tiny waist, and she more or less willingly turned around, until she was completely lost in his embrace. Ah, how wonderful it felt, to be held in his embrace. His strong embrace.

It had been a long four weeks since they had seen each other now. No, they hadn't seen each other since…since…Rory felt her face fall as she remembered the day of her last departure.

It had been a Thursday. It had been a new disappointment. Another one to add to the list. The list that only seemed to grow longer and longer for every month that went by. The list that only grew more and more frustrating. The list that only grew more and more heartbreaking. The list that only grew more and more painful.

Shaking her head, she smiled her best brave smile to her husband and tightened her grip around his neck, hoping he didn't notice her inner thoughts.

No such luck.

Logan saw the clouded daze clearly evident in her eyes and felt his heart break in a million pieces.

As he felt her grip tightening, he found himself doing the same as he guided the both towards the front door, not caring if they looked like waddling penguins.

On approach he fished his own keys from his coat, twisted the magical thing and let them in, not once letting her out of his embrace.

"Now wasn't this a lovely surprise? Did they come to an agreement over there since you're home early?" Logan tried to change the thoughts he knew was speeding around in her mind. Hell, they were even working overtime in his own mind right now.

"Oh you know… Same old. They fight, they bomb, they die" Rory shrugged with slim to no enthusiasm in her voice, and a forced smile on her face.

He knew that she was doing her best to hold up, and he didn't see or feel the need to open that topic this evening.

No, she deserved a day off. She definitely did.

"What about you, dear husband of mine? Why aren't you in New York pleasing my wonderful, loving and gracious father-in-law?" Logan had to smile at what looked like a smile playing on his wife's lips. A sarcastic and somewhat forced smile, but a smile nonetheless.

"Why, if I didn't know you, I'd start to believe you're disappointed to see me" Loan teased.

"Well, then it is a good thing you know me" she replied, leaning in for a brief kiss. As she broke off, before it all got too hot and steamy she looked up at him with a curious look.

"So, you never answered my question"

"We were stuck in second gear. Didn't get anywhere. My dad thought it was a waste of valuable energy and effort, so he issued an ultimatum, in which they declined"

As she took in his answer, she noticed that they, too, were stuck in second gear, or the doorway as some would call it.

Just while they entered their home, she noticed the pile of mail on the doormat. It was obvious that also Logan had been away for some days, because although they were both important and busy people, even they never got this much mail in just one day.

"Logan, could you be an angel and browse through the mail while I go and get this nasty flight out of my system?" Rory asked her husband, but when she only got his smirk back, she quickly added "I'd invite you to come, but you and I both know that it'll end with the need of another shower and quite frankly, I'm too tired"

She turned on her heel and was just about to exit the room in order to surrender to the stream of hot water, when Logan grabbed her wrist and pulled her close.

"Anything for you my dear. I'll pass the shower for now, but what I do want is to make sure my wife get a proper welcome home. After all, I haven't seen her in four long weeks."

And with that he softly placed his lips on hers, letting her know just how much he loved her with that single movement.

There was another thing she was certain of, and that was that there were nothing like the magic he possessed in his lips. Narrow yes, but oh so wonderful.

"I'll make sure George gets turned on. Now in the shower with you." Logan said breaking off her welcome home, before walking over to the kitchen area, hoping she didn't notice the sudden name change of her beloved friend.

"On my way" she retorted. But before she reached the bathroom, she quickly turned towards the kitchen area. "Just a sec. George? What happened to Jack?" she awaited his answer for a split second, but when no answer came she asked again, this time with something Logan allocated as anger present in her voice. "Logan, sweetheart, husband of mine. Will you please tell me what happened to Jack?" Again she was met with silence.

He should've known that this was coming and mentally cursed himself for not being prepared for it.

"Ummm.. There's no easy way saying this, but there's something I have to tell you, honey. You know how, for a long life Jack served us?" Logan paused and Rory nodded her head in in what looked like understanding. "Well, unfortunately one morning I was met with a very sorry sight and some devastating news..."

"Don't Logan..." Rory interrupted him before he could finish his sentence. "Please don't finish that sentence"

"I just couldn't tell you on the phone, Ace. I'm so sorry." Logan tried as best he could to comfprt her, and embraced her in a hug.

"I-I... I just don't get it. Why? He was such a great one. And only 5 years. What kind of age is that?" Rory whispered into his chest.

"I know it's tough, Ace. But if it makes you feel any bttr, I'll have you know that I went to your mother for advice before I got George, and I had three salespeople assure me that George here was the best on the market and that he would perform just as well as our beloved Jack. Give him a chance?"

"Jack is safe in Coffeemaker heaven, right?"

"Oh, most definitely, sweetheart. Most definitely. He earned that place. No doubt about it. And I know that Jack would have wanted us to move on and get George"

"I guess... Ok... In the shower I go" Rory quickly collected her thoughts, briefly kissed the man standing before him and went in the direction that of the bathroom.

As Logan heard the water being turned on in the bathroom, he started browsing through the mail.

It was mainly bills and new assignments for them both, in addition to glossy advertisements and offers from the banks.

Halfway through the mail, the sound of running water faded synchronic with the sound from George announcing that a fresh pot of coffee was ready. Her timing was spotless. He quickly filled a grand cup for his love, making sure he only stole one sip before placing it on the counter. As he let go of the cup, he saw the pale pink envelope staring at him. It didn't look like the sender was of any business related kind, it was probably just another invitation to some kind of boring party where mingling and finger food were both factors, and important factors at that one.

Deciding the envelope was fairly safe, he carefully slid his finger in to open it.

However, the moment he fished the card out, he realised that it wasn't nearly as innocent as he had thought.

Why had he opened this? He should've known this would be coming. After all, he remembered the day as it was yesterday, when it really was about 7 months ago.

_**Flashback** _

_"Rory, sweetheart? Are you there?" _

_God, how he hated this. Every month was equally heartbreaking, and he hated it. And the news of today didn't exactly make things easier. No, not at all. _

_Why did this happen to them? Why? He couldn't seem to think of an answer. Well, at least not any justifying answers. _

_Opening the already slightly ajar door, he saw the structure of his wife sitting on the bed. As he approached her, he felt his heart once again breaking into a million tiny pieces. _

_One should believe that when you got your heart broken every month, you got used to it. That you became somewhat immune to the unbearable pain of your fragile heart breaking. _

_Oh no, Logan knew damn well that it didn't work that way. He always felt it, and if nothing else, the pain only got worse. _

_As he sat down next to her, he gently stroked her chin. As she felt his touch, she looked up, revealing her cloudy eyes. _

_God, how he hated to see her like this. _

_"Pregnant" was the only word Rory managed to form without completely loosing it. _

_"Oh sweetheart…" Logan embraced his arms around her, protecting her as best he could. _

_"I-I don't get it…It's so…so… unfair" the last word left her mouth as a whisper. _

_"I know honey, I know…" he said in his most soothing tone while gently rocking her in his arms. He was at a loss of words. Nothing he could say could make the pain currently going through his wife's heart, go away. _

_"Logan" Rory weakly started her sentence, before clearing her throat and successfully getting rid of that terrible lump her throat held and continuing "do you…um, I-I mean… do you still love me? You don't have to answer; it's just that…I don't know…it just feels like I'm failing. Like I'm in college and failing the only final that really matters. Like I'm failing…failing life…" _

_As her voice faded away in the cold room, Logan removed his arms so he could look fully at her. Lifting her chin with his index finger, he looked her deeply in her clouded eyes before speaking up "Don't you dare finish that sentence Rory. There's not many things here in life I'm sure of, but what I do know, is that I couldn't stop loving you even if I wanted to…" he stopped mid-sentence, once again allowing his arms to embrace her. Kissing her temple, he continued. "And you're not failing anything. Yes, it is unfair and you're not the only one failing to come up with a justifying answer. It killed me when Colin showed up in the newsroom today and told his news. Where the fairness is in it all, I have no idea. All I know is that it will happen for us as well. Maybe not this month or next month, but it will happen. I promise, darling, I promise" _

_As his words trailed off, he could hear her breathing evening out announcing her surrender to the sandman. _

_Reaching over to his side, he fished up a throw and carefully covered her cold, fragile frame. _

_"I promise Rory, it will happen for us. I promise" _

_Logan__ promised the room as he gently played with the ends of her soft hair. _

_**End flashback**_

Sighing, he looked at the contents of the envelope.

There it was. On crisp white paper with soft pink swirls all around, with the message neatly written in silver.

He didn't get all of the words, though. If it was because of him skimming the information vaguely or because of the liquids that filled his eyes, he wasn't sure.

No, it definitely wasn't fair. Not at all!

"Oy, I see George did his job, and my god does it smell like he did a good one! What are you reading, honey?" Rory's soft voice came travelling from behind him, ending up as a breath against his neck. Quickly shaking his head he let out a weak 'nothing' before putting it away.

Rory saw the fancy card and just as her better half, thought it was another invitation to boredom, snapped it out of his grip and started reading with an enthusiasm only she possessed.

"_Stephanie and Colin McRae are proud to announce the arrival of their beautiful and perfect twin girls. _

_Clementine Sophie and Constance Skye _

_Welcomed into this beautiful world on the 2nd of September, _

_In the wee hours of morning…"_

As she realised how wrong she had been, though, her face fell. She quickly placed the card on the counter and rushed to their bedroom, shutting the door softly but soundly behind her.

Logan stood dumbfounded for a split second, before his instincts and senses kicked in as he followed her.

As he entered their bedroom, he saw her small, fragile and hurting body sitting at the side of the bed, head buried in her hands. After watching her for a few seconds, he silently slid down next to her, gently taking her head in his arms protecting her as best he could.

Truth was, she knew she should be happy for her friend. She had, after all, managed to set her second and third child to this world. And somewhere deep down, somewhere extremely deep down she did.

After all, Stephanie was her best friend. At least she used to be. Before everything happened. Before they all…before they all grew up.

But no matter how hard she tried, she couldn't help of feeling that unpleasant nagging feeling of defeat. It had been hard enough when the existence of Callum were announced almost five years ago, let alone the situation now at hand.

She couldn't do it anymore. She just simply couldn't do it. Again, there was a limitation of how much pain she could put herself through, and that limit had most definitely been reached.

"Rory, sweetheart…I know…." Logan started, but Rory quickly placed her finger over his mouth, signalling for him to stay quiet.

"Don't Logan. I've been thinking. A lot actually. I guess that's what you do when you're stuck in the middle of nowhere, surrounded by people whose solution to all their problems seems to be a bloody bomb, before you get stuck on a goddamn plane for a million hours. At least it feels like that" Logan couldn't help but smile at his wife rambling in front of him.

"Anyway…As I was saying" Rory continued "I know we haven't talked about this, but I think it's in its place now.

It's been over four years, Logan. Four years of endless disappointments and tears. Four years of emotions all over the place. Four years of tears and not a single of them being a happy one. And I can't take it anymore. Not getting pregnant is one thing. Don't get me wrong, it hurt like hell getting all those negatives month after month. But what also hurts is not knowing. Not knowing why we can't get pregnant. Is it me? Do I have an unfriendly environment? Is it you? Do you have a hell of a lot of slow swimmers?"

"Hey, don't mock my swimmers, and I think your enviroment is very friendly" Logan tried to lighten the mood of what he predicted to be a long and emotional outburst, caused by nothing but frustration and burning pain.

Ignoring his comment, Rory continued as if he never spoke. "Is it the combination of my unfriendly environment and your incredible slow swimmers? Or is it plain out flat simple impossible? Have I spent too much time on the battlefields inhaling one toxic gas after the other? Or is it a result of you and your constant use of cell phones and exposure to said radiation? Not knowing what we're doing wrong, if we're doing anything wrong, is killing me. I hate living not knowing. But then again, we must be doing something wrong, else wise we wouldn't have spent over four years peeing on a blasted stick. I can't do this anymore, Logan. It is killing every inch of me. And well, it just killed the remains of me, when I saw that announcement. We have to do something. I can't take it anymore. I want to be able to sleep with my husband because I want to, not just because a cold computer says it's time. I want to, for once, make love to my husband because I want to. Because I need to. And not because it's an action that needs to be done before I can lie with my feet in the air for god knows how long, but because I want to. I want to have mind-blowing sex on the kitchen floor, just for the sake of it.

I can't take your parents asking if an heir is on its way every single time we meet them, just to them have the usual 'you're not getting any younger' bullshit thrown at me. Not to mention how it proves their theory consisting of how I married your money and have no intention of carrying the family name on, making a new branch on the oh so perfect family tree. And it's not just your parents. I can't take my grandparents anymore either. Why we still go to Friday night dinner is beyond me. It is not like we need their money to pay for tuition, because we don't have any children that needs tuition, and if we did, god knows we would be able to pay for it. In their eyes it's a scandal that we haven't reproduced yet. I've lost count of the times I've heard about wonderful Callum and the rest of them. I'm tired of being patient and I'm sick of being brave.

And my mom…She's a whole new chapter. And… I just can't take it anymore, Logan. I want it so bad, but I can't do it anymore. I'm not strong enough. I'm just not strong enough. I just want to be myself again. Just want to be Rory." And with that, she couldn't help but surrender to the rivers of tears that had been building up for the last couple of minutes. She broke down in hysteric sobs, not caring if her newly applied make-up was smeared all over her face. Not caring if she was overreacting or giving a bad impression to her husband. She was too upset and heartbroken to care. Too tired to care. Too heartbroken. But most of all, too empty to care.

"Shh…Rory, honey…Relax… breathe.

I know what you mean, and I've been thinking about the same…And don't you think for a split second that it doesn't kill me just as much as it kills you. Not being able to conceive a baby is one thing, but seeing you so upset month after month knowing it's my doing, or rather lack of doing… I just wasn't built for it." Logan stopped his words, taking a deep breath. Everything she had just let out, it was like a knife stabbing at his heart. He was supposed to protect her. It was all written in their vows, and he had spoken them with every intention to stay true to every single word. He was supposed to protect her and take care of her. Keeping her spirits high and giving her reason to smile every day. And boy had he failed that task. He had failed big time. And that feeling of failure pained him more than anything. Looking down at the devastated frame, he noticed how his fingers were carefully caressing her hair. As if not to break a single strand. Sighing, he continued to let his emotions out verbally. "I think we should do something. Quite frankly, I've been thinking about it for some time. I'm not saying that we should've sent off the adoption papers yesterday, I'm just saying that maybe we should...You know..." Logan paused, not daring to say the word that would finish his sentence. "At least then we will get an answer. It might not be a satisfying answer; it might not be a comforting answer. But at least it will be an answer. And then it will be up to us how we deal with it."

"You're right, Logan. You're most definitely right. I'm just not sure if I'm strong enough to handle said results. But then again, I know for sure that I'm not string enough to take any of this not knowing crap any more either. To hell with it all, I'm not strong enough one way or the other." Rory sat up a little and sighed before her mouth and voice again performed their duett.

"We tried the not knowing part, and it sucked. So I vote we do something. In Omnia Paratus, right?"

Logan shifted to the side, tilted his head and embraced her closer. "In Omnia Paratus my love. Loosing faith is so last season." There it was, the oh so adorable yet annoying, but more than anything, _his_ smirk.

"Now that's the team spirit" Rory cheered and smiled

"And to hell with the Baby comp. Its accuracy is only 75 anyway"

"Amen to that!"

And with that, he got up, taking her with him, and steered them to bed. Removing the covers, he carefully placed his love on the soft mattress, planting a soft kiss on her temple. As soon as he pulled away, Rory placed her arms around his neck, forcing him back down.

"Make love to me, please" her request was simple but genuine, and in which he obeyed.

And so they spent the night making love as for the first time, forgetting all about dead coffeemakers, family planning devices and birth announcements.

He well aware of the scene he would find in the bathroom nineteen days from that moment, she well aware of the date she would be adding to the ever growing list of failures. But in that particular moment, neither seemed to care.

A/N 2

So goes the first chapter. Not entirely happy with the outcome, but it's the best my brain can do at the moment.

Please make my day a very happy one, and leave a review.


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